Hey you 🙂
I find that I always start a blog or have an idea about what to write about, then I begin to type and about a sentence in I abandon the idea. Usually that happens when I have no emotional attachment to the content, so today I will make a vow to only publish content that truly reflects me and write about things that I actually give a crap about. In saying that, when I sit down to think about what matters to me, all the hardships in my past come to mind. Not in a bad way though, I think about how what has happened in the past has made me who I am today.
Heartbreak can happen in many ways, we can be torn apart as people by so many different things i.e. friends, family, love interests, money and even by ourselves. In coming posts I will share different struggles I have gone through and how to overcome them specifically, but this post will be more general.
So let’s set the scene, I don’t know how you all grieve, but I am a crier. So let’s say something devastating has happened, you’re in your bedroom or bathroom crying on the floor in the dark listening to Sam Smith (or perhaps something less dramatic). The point is your mindset is dark, your mind is trying to figure out the situation – the whys, hows and whos of it all. What is next? You cannot possibly see a way for this situation to be positive – ever. Firstly, if you are thinking deeply like this, it’s a good start. That might sound weird, but I know from experience that trying to hide from your emotions will only end up damaging you worst in the long run. So get it out, all of it. Scream, cry and shout if that is what you feel like doing.
Breath, slowly and deeply. Only focus on your breathing. Be silent and still and breath for as long as it takes for you to be calm. For me it’s like 5 minutes. Once you have gathered your thoughts, feelings and breath, take out a pen and paper (or notes section on your phone) and write out the situation and how you feel about it (feel free to send this to a trusted person or not). This may result in more crying, but remember – you have to get this out to heal.
The next step is my favourite, my best friend and partner know all to well about Cheresa days. These are days I have every few months when things get a bit on top of me and I plan time to do ONLY the things that make me happy. So I go make-up shopping or do my nails, get a face mask or a bottle of wine and just enjoy my own company and work on making myself feel happy. Although it is good to keep busy, sometimes life can drain us and we need to take time to refill our tanks with all the joys life can bring. Things like this remind us that its not everyday sadness, life is what we make it and we have the power to control how we feel.
Finally, remember life is a journey, so is pain, some days you will feel amazing and some days you won’t want to get out of bed. I promise it will get better each day, week, month and year. Sometimes we can feel guilty about not hurting everyday, but please do not – it is wasted energy and everyone deserves a new beginning. Keep talking about how you feel, do not let anyone make you feel like you should not. Keep taking time out to treat yourself and re-find your happiness. Make goals and reach them – there is ALWAYS a way.